Advocate a Culture of Kindness in Healthcare and Everywhere

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.”
C.C. Scott

are haunted by the violence of Charlottesville, the wrath of hurricanes and now the savage Las Vegas massacre. It’s a mean season. Americans are sinking. It’s as if the brutality of man and Mother Nature is dragging us down to the darkest bottom of the ocean floor. Yet, just when we feel we’re going down for the final time, we’re thrown a life raft. Incredible individual acts of heroism, courage and generosity pull us up and into the light. Everyday people and professionals alike advocate a culture of kindness.

So, we begin again. It seems like our routines of daily life are just as they were. But not quite. Americans are still numb and chilled from these waters. We huddle around the office water cooler asking one another, why does it take such tragedy to bring out the best in Americans? Why must there be a catastrophe to change our focus from, “I’m going to get all I can” to “I’m going to give you all I have.”?

Gone viral on social media are countless stories of epic acts of heroism, kindness and generosity. The SWAT team member, Daryl Hudek, scoops up a mother and her three month old baby in his arms and carries them to safety. A five year boy dons a superman cape and Texans hat to sell lemonade and raise money for Hurricane Relief. A Texas furniture store opens its doors to the homeless. And even Annheuser Busch stops beer production to produce water for communities without any. Strangers lock arms to form a human chain and rescue other strangers, chest deep in rapidly rising waters.

After Hurricane Irma, a farmer gives a Florida woman fresh eggs. That woman pays it forward by cooking meals and posting on Facebook that she will deliver them to anyone who’s lost power from the storm. A Florida Keys restaurant owner loses everything. She stands in the midst of the rubble to help her former patrons because they have no family. She is their family. Her restaurant was their home.

Volunteers wait online for hours and even a day to give blood or lend a hand wherever they can.  An off duty nurse in an iconic cowboy hat and boots stands bolt upright and in the line of fire from a madman gunning down Las Vegas concert goers to save a disabled man unable to get himself to safety. A bartender carries a wounded woman he’d never met out of the chaos and into the safety of paramedics. Ordinary folks putting their lives at risk to save not only loved ones but people they’d never met.

This human connection is exquisite, real and precious. It is what feeds our souls and saves all of our lives. So how do we continue to water the garden of human connection and help it flower in good times and bad? How do we keep ourselves from slipping back into the selfie self-absorption that is the inescapable fact of our lives?

WE’RE MADE TO BE KIND

The good news is, according to Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence, as human beings we are “wired” to be empathetic and compassionate. But narcissistic self-focus is the predicament of our busy, stressful lives. This “trance” we’re in prevents us from the altruistic joy human beings not only crave but are instinctively drawn to.
Tethered to our devices and consumed by our own issues we seem to ignore one another even when we physically collide. It’s everywhere. Even in healthcare. Workers are pressured, overworked and burned out. Caught up in self-preservation and self-focus. Instead of offering an empathetic ear, kind caring and compassionate commitment these people who serve as our advocates seem tone deaf to the patient’s and family’s needs.

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

Perhaps one way we can commit to living a life of kindness and generosity is knowing it’s good for our health. Dartmouth University researchers found that random acts of kindness are not only teachable and contagious. Kind people experience a decrease in pain, stress, anxiety, depression and blood pressure. When we are kind we are happier, have more energy, live longer lives and increase our levels of oxytocin-“the love hormone”.

Chicago Tribune writer, Terri Stat agrees. The pill for happiness and longevity is, she writes, kindness.

Researcher and psychologist, John Gottman, set up “The Love Lab” and found couples who were kind and generous lived the “happily ever after” fairy tale.

Dr. Michael Stein, a practicing physician and well known author, musters evidence that a kind doctor is not only what every patient wants. It helps us get well.

Even Oprah has weighed in on the subject of kindness as a prescription for good health.

Through all of this tragedy and sorrow we have seen the incredible depth of human kindness. Let’s honor the victims and one another. Advocate a culture of kindness in healthcare and everywhere. It’s who we are. It’s what we are made to do.